Hello friends, it’s been some time! 2019 was a busy, productive, exciting and at times overwhelming 5th year for JKM. I took on my biggest intake of students yet, recorded and released a student composition EP and also released my own EP. I felt myself pushed as a teacher, as a musician, well outside my comfort zone and those who know me know I am not a fan of change. The not-so-fun side of being a small business is the administrative work, the scheduling, timetabling, accounting (ugh) and sometimes it feels like it would be so much easier if there was someone else to handle all of that and I could just focus on teaching.
But!
I then remember what it was like when I worked for other companies and there was someone else to handle all of that, and how much it bothered me to see things run in a way I didn’t agree with. Those who know me also know I get tremendously impatient and frustrated when I’m told to do things a certain way, it’s why I’m a terrible student (apologies to those who have tried to teach me guitar). That said, being a terrible student really helps me understand my own students better so I’m choosing to see that as a positive.
Anyway, the point is working for myself, whilst at times difficult, is so much more rewarding than I could ever have imagined. The joy I feel meeting a new student and creating a curriculum, approaching the puzzle of their unique learning methods and tackling any challenges together. Listening to a student’s composition, my heart bursting with pride. Hearing a student talk about why a certain composer resonates with them, arms gesturing wildly. Bribing students with answers to my personal life in exchange for just one more scale. Hearing about school talent shows won, or family impressed at Christmas. Watching my big beautiful JKM family come together at the Spring Concert, where I did in fact cry during my end of year speech.
I won’t lie, I was tired at the end of 2019, it was a huge year, but I’m so grateful for how much I had to grow, and so proud of what I achieved. After a much-needed and very rejuvenating break, I feel excited and energised to get back to work, and I realise how lucky I am to feel like that. There is still doubt and worry, just the other day I spoke to a teacher friend of mine about how every now and then I feel like ‘What am I doing? Whose idea was it for me to run a business?’ and they said they often feel the same, but the reassurance is in the work. I’m so grateful to be entering into JKM’s 6th year, fully booked with new students and with students who have been with me since before I even launched my business, and as long as there are those wanting to learn from me, I’ll be there to teach them.
A phrase I often say to my students (and am often teased for by them) is ‘don’t think, do’. I tell my students to relax, to stop micro-managing themselves, to be ok with making mistakes, to be ok with whatever pace they’re learning at. In a great example of how I never take my own advice, I very rarely remember to do any of these things. Overthinking everything has no positive outcome, taking a step back and assessing things for what they are is super important. When learning a new and difficult piece I always tell my students to break it down, don’t try and tackle the whole thing in one go. The same is so so true of just about everything, even the most stressful and worrying things can and should be broken down, tackled one step at a time until you’re not sure why they were so stressful in the first place.
This is my goal for myself for 2020 (though I’m generally not a fan of new year’s resolutions and frankly I don’t understand the fuss of ‘the new decade’, did we do this in 2010?). I want to second-guess myself less, trust myself more, don’t think, do.
-JK